This is my mom's second baby and there is 12 years between me and the new baby! I don't want to, but I feel jealous, and left out... please don't say talk about it!! Me and my mom have a close relationship, and we always talk, but we're kind of drifting apart. Help!|||My little brother is 13 years younger than me......Sure at first you might feel a little insecure because now you are no longer the baby and thats normal......Just try to let go of those feelings and spend some time bonding with your new baby brother or sister because then you'll see how proud your mom will be that you are being so unselfish......you'll still be adored......I admit my little brother was pretty funny as a baby......treat the baby good and he/she will adore you too.......embrace it okay......everyone will be happier. :-)|||Looks like they have themselves a sleep in baby sitter in you.|||i wouldn't sweat the small stuff if i were u. she needs your support now more than ever. u are not drifting apart, i think she is rightfully preoccupied with the arrival of the new baby.|||wow.
a dozen years age gap.
sounds familiar.
=]
good luck, it'll all be okay.|||First of all if your 12,you shouldnt be on this site.Anyway think about how much fun you'll have with your new baby brother or sister.|||so what the problem
dont be a little crybaby suck it up and be happy for ur mom kid
its not like she gonna forget about you babies just require more attention|||you have had 12 years of having your mom to yourself, grow up and stop being selfish..how can you be jelous of a poor little baby..its not is fault!|||think about it this way, no you wount be smothered by your mom and can do more fun things like hang out and such. thats what happened when my mom had my little bro. i was in elementary school when she had the baby, then when i got to junior high, BIG change, i was given a lot more freedom. It's not like she is going to stop loving you, thats silly. So just relax and enjoy this! babies are fun, you will love your new sibling :)|||Your mom has a lot on her mind right now. If you're 12, you'll be heading into high school in a couple of years and be busy with school, career and continuing education plans, dating, and all the fun things that go with growing up. The drifting apart is a healthy condition that helps you realize you are an independent, growing-up-emotionally adolescent, on the way to discovering who your yourself are, and what you want out of life. Exciting times for you and the family.
Learing to share and get along in a widening environment is an excellent skill. Think of the fun you'll have being big sis!|||This is one of those things that kids always find difficult to handle, and it will only get more difficult as you see how much attention your parents must pay to the new child.
I'm sorry that you don't want to hear this, but talking about it is the solution. Don't worry, they still love you just as much and you will probably adore your new sibling.|||Grow up. U will be on ur own soon anyways, might as well start detaching yourself now or u will feel much worse in the future.|||you will get to love the new baby. this is your chance to protect someone younger and give them a role model to look up to. i had a sister-in-law-who had her second child when her oldest daughter was 16. and she accepted it after the baby was born. hang in there you will be just fine. good luck.|||hey you know i was like that when my baby sister came out, i envy her cause she have all the attention and i've got nothing. but it's easy to recover cause by the time goes by you will learn to love your baby bro/sis. =)|||if you want to spend more time with your mom start helping her during her pregnancy , and show her that you are happy for her she would want u to|||My sister could tell a thing or two about this. She was 10 years old when my brother was born, and almost 17 years old when I came along.
Your mom is going to need your understanding and support. You will not drift from her if you can give her these. You will become closer in fact. It is a way for you to bond with the new sibling, and to strengthen the bond with your mom. New moms need to spend a lot of time with the newborns; you will always be her #1.|||What you feel is perfectly NORMAL! Try to think of it as a true blessing and miracle. You're going to have a little brother or sister! And when it comes, you're Mom's going to need a lot of your help. Best of all, you will love this baby very much, so look forward to it!|||My stepdaughter (my husband's daughter) is 15 years older than our daughter. She was really involved with me during my pregnancy and we did lots of things together during that time. We actually grew closer take advantage of this time now and enjoy it. Enjoy your baby sister or brother while they are young. You will be amazed at how fast they grow up.|||That's a tough one. Yep, your mom is going to have to focus on the baby a lot more than on you. You're probably used to getting all the attention, and now you're going to have to share. Worse, you're going to get less than half the attention, because babies take a ton of attention.
You *might* be able to get some attention back if you offer to help out. If you take care of the baby while mom takes care of other things, then she might continue to have more time for you -- time she wouldn't otherwise have had if she'd had to take care of the baby by herself.
Or maybe you can take care of some of the stuff around the house -- take over more of the cooking or stuff. Maybe you can do some of the adult things with your mom -- things she has to do, anyway, but you can do them with her for some quality time together.|||You should be happy to have a new sister/brother.
You will enjoy her/his companionship.
To have a brother/sister is the gift from God.
Your mom loves all her babies no matter what ages you both will become.
Don't be jealous of your own blood and flesh.
Jealousy is bad for you, only loser is a jealous type.
Be generous and you will get rewards, and you will feel good of yourself.|||Congratulations, you're perfectly normal. This is a golden opportunity to make yourself useful. Nothing brings good luck like helping others.|||hi. i have a sister who is twelve years younger then i am. when she was born, i was INSANELY jealous, because my mom was always cooing over her. she is 1 1/2 now. it has been a pleasure wathcing her grow up a little more every year. dont worry bout it. if your mom coos over the baby, do the same. the baby is your sibling, so dont be jealous like i was. enjoy this. be happy for your mom. if u feel like your drifting, say "hey mom, wanna go to a movie or lunch" or something like that, and that will bring you two closer together. despite the baby, you will always be close to your mom. you are er first baby, and you always will be. i hope you take my advice. good luck!!|||It might be because of a combination of the new baby and your age. You're growing up and will naturally start drifting away from your mom. It's a normal thing--all kids do it. Add in the fact that a lot of her attention is going to her pregnancy and then the baby, and it only makes it more pronounced.
Why don't you ask your mom if you and she could have a mother-daughter night, once a week or once every couple of weeks. Make it a no-baby time (unless you want to talk about it, have questions or concerns, etc.), so the two of you can catch up on what's going on in your life and maintain that connection that's obviously important to you.|||My sister and I are twelve years apart, I am the oldest. The age gap never bothered me because at the age of 12 I was starting to mature, and I was able to cope with my new baby sister easily. Growing up I was almost like a mother figure to my lil sis. She's now 15, and we are VERY close. My mother and her had a special relationship just like my mom and I had, but each relationship is unique, and I am not jealous. You will be fine. Take this opportunity to become a role model for your lil sis, and a best friend as well. Good luck.|||It's natural that you would feel jealous after being the center of attention for 12 years. If you change the way you look at this event, it may help you get through it. This is not something your Mom is doing to you. It happened. It was probably not planned after 12 years but it happened and it's a reality.
You're 12 and will very soon be a teen facing teen issues of having sex, birth control, unwanted pregnancy, babies being born to teenage mothers. This situation could actually be a blessing in disguise. It will teach you what a woman goes through when she's pregnant, all the body changes and the emotional changes. It will teach what it's like to actually give birth and to care for a newborn baby. By the time you're old enough to have to think about making those choices, you'll already know the answers. When your friends talk about what they think they know, you'll actually know and will be able to set the record straight.
I know you don't want to hear "talk about it" but that's my advice. I suspect it will be everyone else's advice as well because that's the only way you'll be able to deal with your feelings. You have a close relationship with your Mom. You recognize that you're starting to drift apart. That doesn't have to happen. A relationship takes work on both sides. If you don't talk to your Mom about your feelings she won't be able to help you. You will keep those feelings inside and you'll resent this new little life that's about to enter the world. Try to see this baby as a blessing who's coming here to teach you what you need to know to get through your teen years. She doesn't want to take attention away from you she wants to love you and to be loved by you. Talk to your Mom.|||it feels like your drifting but your not, your growing up your mom needs you know, if your close tell her how you feel, it will work out|||You are just thinking too much about it... If you're a grown up, it should affect u that much... If you're a teen, then yes, you may become insecure... But it'll all be fine... If i were in your shoes, i wudve been crazily waitin for the baby n would love him/her more than anyone else.. Come on, you've had ur share of attention for 12 God damn years! u should be fine with the baby coming and this isnt a reason for feeling left out...|||Try to help with the baby, whether it's watching it or feeding it. I'm sure your mom could use some help. She'll appreciate the fact that you'll want to help and when you do help it will give you some time to talk more with your mom. Also if you do help and the baby grows up you can always remind them how you always watched them or how you used to feed them. It's hard having a baby and even a younger sibling and just remember you were spoiled like that once too. After a while she'll get over it and it'll go back to the old way of life. Just with a baby.|||please grow up,
I wish I had a brother thats a baby,
well I have my nephews and I love them,|||I'm going to address this from the other side, because I'm a mom who has two children 9 years apart.
It is absolutely normal to feel left out simply by the nature of pregnancy and new babyhood. All the attention is focused on the new one, and seems like there's not a smidge left for you. And you know what? As sad as that is, it's just a natural process that the whole family will go through. But I swear to you, your mother will love you ALL THE MORE with a sibling in the house. It's almost like your heart is bursting with all this extra love floating around.
As for the drifting apart, I feel that with my older son some too. Just... ok how about asking your mom if you two can go do something special together like you used to do, just the two of you. Make sure you do something special to help her out whenever you can, just doing one little extra chore will be so special to her.
... Honey, there isn't any magical answer. And I really don't feel like I've answered yours. But know that your mom loves you, and while her attention will be focused on the new one, her heart is still yours too.|||I don't know your mom, but for whatever reason she decided to have another child. You can put a positive or negative spin on it...this child may be VERY special to you...you may be wonderful friends and siblings and have a life of love, help, support, and tenderness toward each other. You will get alot of new experiences that will teach you things. The important thing for you to know is that you're mother will always love you and this new person will not make her love you less...it may require changes and sacrifices...but i know i love my son and nothing will change that...just because she will have to use alot of her time to care for this baby. remember she did the same for you...|||your life is over!
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